I hate making decisions! (I just heard my mother say, "It isn't nice to say hate". Sorry Mom). But it is the truth - especially when the outcome isn't cut and dry.
Two weeks ago I had my three month scan. No change. Tumor continues to hold steady at 1.2 centimeters. Not the best news but by far certainly not the worst. I was just hoping for the best possible scenario - gone. I keep telling myself at least it hasn't grown. Gotta keep looking for the positive.
I was told that the activity in my chest has left some scar tissue that isn't reversible. That may be causing the cough and other things (not to mention a tumor in my lung though small). Doc wants me to try a medication that may help the coughing (or may not). Also she was very excited about a new drug recently released from a trial and FDA approved that she wants to put me on for the cancer - adding to my current medication. Sounds like wonder drugs yet most drugs come with not so pleasant side effects - the one for coughing is an old drug (with some unpleasant se) and this new drug is actually a chemo drug so....requires weekly blood tests. The new drug is hard to get - my insurance requires traveling to Denver once a month to pick it up, could have a co-pay $0-5,000, and who knows how long I have to be on it. My take is with weekly blood tests and once a month traveling to Denver it just does not fit in to my life style. Paying for a drug that could make me sick also does not fit into my life style. I have a ton of questions that need answered first. Did I mention I hate making decisions?
Until a decision is made (till I get my questions answered) I will play the role of ostrich - living daily with my head in the sand pretending that all is well. I believe that is called denial. I've heard it is a remarkable place to dwell. I will let you know!
Till then I'm enjoying continued travel, taking care of my grandbabies, waiting for grandbaby #4 and seeing what each new day holds. Just don't ask me to make any major decisions!
