I have officially finished with one cycle (three weeks on, one week off) of chemo. One down and five to go. Or five more months. Seems daunting, especially knowing that as the chemo builds in my body so will the side effects. But, I also know this is a necessary evil and need to simply continue to take one week, if not one day, at a time.
This past week has been my "off" week meaning no chemo. Hurrah! And it has been a great week. I've gotten some energy back, walked around the block, ventured out to the grocery store (with a chauffeur) twice and even a quick trip to Home Depot. It is amazing how good it felt to actually walk the aisles of the grocery store! An activity I typically did with disdain, simply because it was a necessity, has turned into a joyful outing. Oh the perspective that illness brings to life! Even taking a shower all by myself was a cause for celebration. I am aware that as I begin my next chemo cycle I will be most likely be back to staying home and requiring assistance in daily tasks but having tasted an off week hopefully the three weeks on will be a bit more bearable.
And you know what really makes an illness bearable? The presence of children and grandchildren. I have been blessed the last couple of weeks by visits from my Colorado son and his family and my Bostonian daughter and granddaughter. Modern technology keeps me in touch with my youngest daughter and her family in Utah until they are able to visit in person. There is just something magical about family that lifts my spirits and seems so much more powerful than any drug out there. I feel as if anything is bearable and doable when I focus on family. Ellie, Darius, Abigail and Teddy are often what keeps me pushing through and forging ahead.
In addition to family I have been blessed by friends who have carved out time from their schedules to make the trip to help out as well, not to mention local friends who have made themselves available to spend time with me, bring by meals, run to the store, bring fresh veggies, check in via text, emails and cards just to let me know they care. I even was super privileged to have the worship leaders from my church come by one afternoon to lead a time of private worship. It was beautiful and inspiring. It is really impossible to adequately express thanks for these acts of kindness and love that keep me moving one day in to the next, especially during the dark times when it feels like the light will never shine again.
When I lose my focus or find myself giving in to despair or self pity I simply remember that God has provided me with not only a medical community but more importantly a community of family and friends - truly the best kind of medicine available. I am indeed blessed.
