One of the most enjoyable things in life, for me, is being able to share childhood memories with my children and now my grandchildren. The entire Brower family (minus one son-in-law) was able to gather in Seaside, OR (a favorite vacation spot for my family of origin) this month. It was so encouraging to see all three of my kids gathered together with their offspring. I like to think of this as my legacy of seven; three children and four grandchildren.
We enjoyed numerous trips to the beach, playing in the sand and jumping the waves; walks in to town along the board walk; savoring Tillamook ice cream; watching the cousins get better acquainted; taking a nine seater bike for a spin around the town; visiting neighboring coastal towns and simply enjoying one another's company.
My most enjoyable memory is introducing the grandkids to Seaside's carousel. That carousel is older than I am!! Watching the smiles on their faces as the ponies went up and down and around and around was precious. Even 3 month old Teddy got the thrill of riding the grand carousel. Little Abigail's reaction is so typical of life in general and has given me several opportunities to stop and think about the parallels of her reaction. At first she was hesitant (very much so) to go for a spin, even with mama at her side. Then she wanted to go again so Nana obliged and took her for another twirl only to have to peal her hands from the golden pole amidst tears and cries of "more, more" when the ride came to a stop. Aren''t we all like that to some degree? Hesitant at first to dabble in that which life brings our way and then when life hands us another turn we are stubborn and refuse to loosen our grip. Shouting "no, no, no!" with tears streaming down our face as we are nudged to loosen our grip.
As I think about the past few months with my cancer challenges I shout right along with Abigail. I want to continue my easy going life with the natural patterns of round and round and round again. I don't want to face the twists and turns. I don't want to loosen my grip on the familiar. I want to enjoy my life as I always have; active and full. Yet, just like Abigail, we can't hang on to the golden pole forever. At some point we have to let go, trusting that someone greater than us, with more authority than us, has a better plan in place.
Jeremiah 29:11
My fingers are being peeled off and all I can do is trust. Trust in the potential goodness of days ahead.
