"TEST" - my new four letter word.

As a kid growing up the very mention of an upcoming test through me into a panic. Especially the Weekly Reader Tests. I detested those things! I even remember very vividly on one occasion in early grade school breaking my pencil (on purpose and entirely in half mind you) thinking that would get me out of having to take the test. Little did I realize that the teacher kept an extra supply of No. 2 pencils for just such a purpose.

Several months later and yet another upcoming Weekly Reader Test (maybe that is why to this day I'm not a real fan of newspapers - just something about that newspaper feel and smell of ink) I was ill and could not go to school. This pattern continued on Fridays for awhile until my mother got wise to my sudden illnesses and drove me to school to speak with the principle. They put two and two together and suddenly my illness was diagnosed as dreading the "TEST". Such a strange child. I always passed those, and other tests, with flying colors yet still dreaded the days, hours and moments leading up to the "TEST".

Not much changed in the years following through Junior High, High School and College. Heck, even during my Master's Program the idea of taking a test was nerve wracking. But now I would give anything to endure those silly exams in exchange for the current exams -"TEST" - that loom large in front of me.

Now, don't get me wrong. I am ever grateful for medical advances that allow us to quickly and early make diagnoses preventing even harsher results. I just have to admit that I am not as brave as most people are assuming.  Nor am I as calm and collected as I might appear to the untrained eye when seen in public.

You see, the mere mention of the word "TEST" still sends quivers through my soul, elevates my typically low blood pressure and causes me to overheat. Today, the dreaded tests are medical and it seems that one simply leads to another. I have been injected with numerous amounts of dye contrast, swallowed cups of barium cocktails, slid onto cold tables and ridden through strange and loud machines, been X-ray zapped, poked, prodded and thumped, scoped and what have you. All in the name of "TEST". Only this past week did it dawn on me that "TEST" is a four letter word. And that it is entirely possible to dread and dislike things are that good and helpful in the long run for you.

The Bible has much to say about tests - consider them pure joy, they lead to stronger faith, grant patience etc. My favorite test Scripture right now warns us not to test God (Deut. 6:15) - see even God doesn't like tests! And then Matthew 4 when Jesus was put to the test. I gain comfort in knowing that even Jesus faced tests yet triumphed.

Yes, it is entirely possible to dread that which is for your good and in the end come away with flying colors.

In the meantime as "TEST" is my new four letter word and I wait for flying colors I will:

Cast all my cares (fears, anxieties and TESTS) on Him, because He cares for me.  I Peter 5:7